laurenceOfSuburbia@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.world · 11 hours agoPeak Internet Culturelemmy.worldimagemessage-square49linkfedilinkarrow-up1464arrow-down17
arrow-up1457arrow-down1imagePeak Internet Culturelemmy.worldlaurenceOfSuburbia@lemmy.world to memes@lemmy.world · 11 hours agomessage-square49linkfedilink
minus-squareBeth@piefed.sociallinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up10·5 hours agoRecently there was a rumor spreading around my work that the earth was about to lose gravity for seven seconds and they should stay home to be safe.
minus-squareUnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up7·3 hours agoBosses are dumb. Use that to score extra vacation. Don’t rock the fucking boat.
minus-squaremechoman444@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up4·4 hours agoNo, no. It’s absolutely true. Scientists have known for years that the Earth’s gravitational field is remarkably stable, except when I fart. At precisely 8:47 PM, I unleashed a fart of such extraordinary magnitude that NASA immediately detected a gravitational anomaly. For exactly seven seconds, gravity simply gave up. Cars floated. Birds were suddenly extremely confused. Somewhere in Ohio, a man watched his refrigerator slowly drift toward the ceiling. NASA scrambled to identify the source. “Where is this coming from?” The technician checked the instruments. “Sir… Georgia.” A long silence followed. “Dear God.” At exactly seven seconds, gravity returned. Scientists are now studying the event. I have been asked not to fart again. I have declined to comment.
minus-squareitsjustachairmary@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up5·5 hours agoIf the result is I’m staying home for the day I’m happy to spread it along.
Recently there was a rumor spreading around my work that the earth was about to lose gravity for seven seconds and they should stay home to be safe.
Bosses are dumb. Use that to score extra vacation. Don’t rock the fucking boat.
No, no. It’s absolutely true.
Scientists have known for years that the Earth’s gravitational field is remarkably stable, except when I fart.
At precisely 8:47 PM, I unleashed a fart of such extraordinary magnitude that NASA immediately detected a gravitational anomaly.
For exactly seven seconds, gravity simply gave up.
Cars floated. Birds were suddenly extremely confused. Somewhere in Ohio, a man watched his refrigerator slowly drift toward the ceiling.
NASA scrambled to identify the source.
“Where is this coming from?”
The technician checked the instruments.
“Sir… Georgia.”
A long silence followed.
“Dear God.”
At exactly seven seconds, gravity returned.
Scientists are now studying the event.
I have been asked not to fart again.
I have declined to comment.
If the result is I’m staying home for the day I’m happy to spread it along.