Just to start, it was definitely not meant as any sort of “fuck you”. Genuinely. Please reread with the opposite emotional valence as that was definitely not what I wanted to achieve at all. I honestly did want to say good luck and have fun, but not like some sort of sassy sign off, I will work on that for the future.
In my opinion, which you are free to dismiss, your previous language was somewhat aggressive and dismissive. Your conversational partner seemed to find it to be so and reacted to that, so I don’t think it is just my bad reading of your statements. It is entirely possible that you meant no harm, had no aggression at all, and your personal expressive language was just not a great fit for either myself or the other conversational partner.
When I said “Something you may find helpful” I meant those words, not something else. You may find a 10mm socket wrench useful, you may not, it depends on your current needs which I don’t have access to, but hey, if you need a 10mm socket wrench I have one, along with my opinion above. It is offered in the spirit of kindness and also a lack of obligation, you don’t have to take my opinion on or show why it is wrong, you are free to just ignore it and mark it as read.
I don’t have an investment in you beyond hoping things go well for any other person. I do have an investment in the communities I participate in, so when I see something like your previous conversation and think I can make things a little better, a touch nicer, I feel motivated to do so. Feel free to look through my history, I really do try to consistently explain things, make things clearer, and resolve conflicts with discussion. I try not to dismiss the concerns of other people and in this case I have failed to note and respond to your concerns effectively.
I do not consider what I was doing as mediating, but I can see how you would read it that way and I perhaps should have used a direct message to prevent that interpretation. Do you think that would have been better? A less public forum? Please do answer this, I actually do care about your thoughts here.
I don’t have any ego invested in this. I hope things go well for you, I have some tools it has taken a long time to acquire, they seemed possibly useful for you in this situation, so I tried to offer them.
Suppressing conflict is not the goal. The goal is resolving conflict, or at least for me. Agreeing to disagree is a perfectly good resolution. Finding a common ground and having someone expand or change their mind is a good resolution. Having someone change my mind is just as good as someone else changing their mind, and both are a little better than just agreeing to disagree. I am not trying to preserve peace at the cost of resolution, I believe that the level of conflict present was not conducive to a resolution and pulling back a tiny bit would make a resolution more achievable.
Anyway, I really truly hope things go well for you, no hard feelings if not, and feel free to ignore, reply, reply with a DM, or whatever else floats your boat, I genuinely hope you have a good day from here.
Just to start, it was definitely not meant as any sort of “fuck you”. Genuinely. Please reread with the opposite emotional valence as that was definitely not what I wanted to achieve at all. I honestly did want to say good luck and have fun, but not like some sort of sassy sign off, I will work on that for the future.
In my opinion, which you are free to dismiss, your previous language was somewhat aggressive and dismissive. Your conversational partner seemed to find it to be so and reacted to that, so I don’t think it is just my bad reading of your statements. It is entirely possible that you meant no harm, had no aggression at all, and your personal expressive language was just not a great fit for either myself or the other conversational partner.
When I said “Something you may find helpful” I meant those words, not something else. You may find a 10mm socket wrench useful, you may not, it depends on your current needs which I don’t have access to, but hey, if you need a 10mm socket wrench I have one, along with my opinion above. It is offered in the spirit of kindness and also a lack of obligation, you don’t have to take my opinion on or show why it is wrong, you are free to just ignore it and mark it as read.
I don’t have an investment in you beyond hoping things go well for any other person. I do have an investment in the communities I participate in, so when I see something like your previous conversation and think I can make things a little better, a touch nicer, I feel motivated to do so. Feel free to look through my history, I really do try to consistently explain things, make things clearer, and resolve conflicts with discussion. I try not to dismiss the concerns of other people and in this case I have failed to note and respond to your concerns effectively.
I do not consider what I was doing as mediating, but I can see how you would read it that way and I perhaps should have used a direct message to prevent that interpretation. Do you think that would have been better? A less public forum? Please do answer this, I actually do care about your thoughts here.
I don’t have any ego invested in this. I hope things go well for you, I have some tools it has taken a long time to acquire, they seemed possibly useful for you in this situation, so I tried to offer them.
Suppressing conflict is not the goal. The goal is resolving conflict, or at least for me. Agreeing to disagree is a perfectly good resolution. Finding a common ground and having someone expand or change their mind is a good resolution. Having someone change my mind is just as good as someone else changing their mind, and both are a little better than just agreeing to disagree. I am not trying to preserve peace at the cost of resolution, I believe that the level of conflict present was not conducive to a resolution and pulling back a tiny bit would make a resolution more achievable.
Anyway, I really truly hope things go well for you, no hard feelings if not, and feel free to ignore, reply, reply with a DM, or whatever else floats your boat, I genuinely hope you have a good day from here.