cross-posted from: https://piefed.world/c/scientificarticles/p/1459618/fear-responsibility-and-shame-in-young-mens-sexual-lives-new-study-suggests-that-many-yo

This study examines how this generation of young heterosexual men—who have come of age in the “age of consent”—emotionally experience sex. We thematically analyzed 31 in-depth interviews with men aged 18 to 32 years. The most striking finding is how rarely these men described enjoying sex. Three themes emerged. First, anxiety and vigilance accompanied sexual encounters. Second, there was a moral concern about causing harm to a sexual partner. Third, shame arose not only from accusations by others, but also from self-criticism. The themes overlap substantially, suggesting aspects of a complex, sometimes contradictory experience. The defining feature is an inward turn: a cultural suspicion of men appears to have been internalized by some young men. For these men, the question when navigating consent is often not only “does she want this?” but “am I the kind of man who could get this wrong?” Sex, as one participant put it, is “like you’re trying to defuse a bomb.” These young men have come to approach sex as a hazard to manage rather than a relational experience to share. They attributed this wariness to the cultural climate that surrounds consent.

  • Fallibilist@feddit.uk
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    1 day ago

    Can’t say I’ve ever much enjoyed it myself either. It’s something I’ve always just done for her and I’m just happy to get it over with. One of the best things about being single is not having to even think about it.

    • kettuli@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      It took me a couple of relationships to find the joy of coitus. Jacking off also makes it less enjoyable.

      • Fallibilist@feddit.uk
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        1 day ago

        And starving myself makes shitty food more enjoyable as well but that just seems a bit backwards to me. Yet another thing to sacrifice from my own life just to please her.

        • kettuli@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Oh no, it’s to please you specifically, as an added bonus it might make you more attentive overall in the act but it’s supposed to make specifically you happier.

          • Fallibilist@feddit.uk
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            1 day ago

            Please me as in fill the self-inflicted void I created by starving myself. That’s like breaking something just so you can take pleasure in fixing it.

            Nah. I had high expectations for sex but it has been a letdown since my first time. I’m perfectly capable of scratching my own itch. I don’t need their help for it. You can have my sex too.