Honestly the Count of Monte Cristo is 20% adventure and 80% aristocracy.

Honestly, skip Monte Cristo for now. If you want to read a big book, read something more unique. Try Dostoyevsky for metaphysical musings, House of Leaves for an SCP-like mindfuck, or Moby Dick for some of the most beautiful writing mankind has ever produced and a truly autistic enthusiasm for the sea.

I might be in the minority on this opinion, but I find it valid: Monte Cristo shows its age in an unappetizing way and it’s clear the work was serialized. It lacks potency or substance when compared to the other works I mentioned, and it seems like you’ve got a thing for books that say something.

Is anyone else mortified by how such an obvious and blatant attention grab can so easily captivate the attention of literally every circle of the internet?

Espresso shots? Or are we talking tinier?